


In another life

by shadesquadvip1



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars, ben solo - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Jedi Academy (Star Wars), Ben Solo - Freeform, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Cannon, F/M, Force Bond, Force Dyad (Star Wars), Growing Up Together, Happy Ending, Hearing Voices, Jedi, Jedi Ben Solo, Jedi Rey (Star Wars), Luke Skywalker - Freeform, M/M, Major Character Injury, Nightmares, PTSD, Pain Train, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo Week, Reylo Week 2020, Skywalker, Star Wars - Freeform, They love each other, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey, alternative universe, but not really, kind of the same story, lots of back story, lots of fluff, rey is 14 and ben is 16
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-01 17:27:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23880793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadesquadvip1/pseuds/shadesquadvip1
Summary: Rey and Ben grew up together. Poe and Ben are brothers. Finn, Poe, and Rose are Jedi too. Alderran is still there. They all attend the temple. They are all granted the rank of Master and part of the council.Luke is there eventually. Finn can see the future- kind of...Snoke starts to manipulate Ben as he attempts to infiltrate The First Order.Rey is there for him but not in the right waysOn their first mission together Ben joins Snoke.Rey of course goes to find him. but "it doesn't go the way she thinks" AT ALLBen turns to the dark side, but he just wants Rey to JOIN HIM OkAyRey is determined to get him back but learns that he has to make that decision himself.
Relationships: Finn/Rose Tico, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Rey/Ben Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9
Collections: REYLO WEEK 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I completely re-wrote the first chapter of this and I think it works ALOT better, but who knows lol. I'm terrible at summaries. 
> 
> Any feedback is welcome

Then

Rey’s feet can’t carry her fast enough along the stone corridor as the cold licks and cracks at her bare soles. She’s just turned fourteen and her slight muscular form makes her nimble and fast. Her chocolate curls bounce across her back as she rounds the corner to find several people out of bed scattered along the hallway all turned in the direction of the screams ripping from the door at the end. She pushes her way past the others and into the room slamming the door firmly behind her. She’s not sure exactly what to do to as she takes Ben in at the center of the room a whirlwind of objects circling his tall form. They haven’t exactly worked out a system or a plan for when he’s like this and he’s certainly never had a twister of various objects whirling around him. When he’s hearing an overwhelming amount of whispers or screams, or when he’s having trouble sleeping, or when he’s having nightmares she comforts him with her touch. So she resolves to making her way forward ducking and dodging until a piece of glass slashes her across the cheek and she lets out a yelp, suddenly everything falls. He twists around and as realization strikes his face that she is injured he begins to grab at his ears letting a frustrated grunt escape his throat. He sinks down to his knees before lying on the ground and curling into himself. He no longer screams but his body is tightly wound in on itself and Rey wonders if he will explode. 

She closes her eyes and reaches out to his mind immediately feeling the tendrils of the darkness inside of his head. It slithers over into her veins and she feels as if she is being spliced open and left to burn like a live wire. It’s so loud in her ears she begins to slip away from his consciousness her brain protecting itself intuitively. She joins Ben on the floor and wraps her arms around his shaking form and waves of heat wash over her. As she focuses on the warmth she feels the thick black tendrils receding from his head, his veins stitching themselves back together. He stops shaking but his eyes are still squeezed shut tightly and he’s curled up tighter than he was before. She doesn’t say a word yet, just slowly helps him to stretch out brushing his damp hair from his face. He never opens his eyes but she knows that he has relaxed as much as he can. Rey brushes up against his mind again to make sure that the darkness has receded but she runs into a wall. He’s guarding himself and Rey can sense his exhaustion, so she focuses on helping him barricade himself from the darkness that is snaking around the edges of his consciousness.   
When he finally comes back to himself he slowly turns to face her, their noses almost brushing. 

“Thanks” his voice shakes out; he presses the pad of his thumb to the gash on Rey’s face “Shit.” 

He sits up and surveys the damage around the room. He summons a kit from somewhere in the mess of debris and adjusts himself upright. Rey follows suit and they are knee to knee now as his large hands cup her jaw and turns her face towards the light. He dabs some bacta on a swab and places it gently on the exposed skin. She can’t keep herself from sucking her teeth 

“Sorry” he mumbles removing the swab and applying a bacta patch to her face. More apologies tumble out of his lips faster than she can keep up with but she is more concerned for him than anything, and she is struck with how much she has missed him. He just returned from deployment in the Northern Reaches of Coruscant and it felt like she- they had wasted time. The pull that had brought her to him years ago when they rescued her, the feeling of belonging, the flutters in her heart that had suddenly emerged when he would brush her hand or tease her, and the emptiness that she had felt the moment his transport disappeared from view. It had built and built and she couldn’t waste any more time, she had to know now so she stopped his ramblings with a kiss and he froze. 

She felt him begin to relax for a small moment before he pulled away. She sensed his confusion but, it was impossible that Ben hadn’t shared at least one kiss with someone. He was only two years her senior and while most of the students of the temple regarded him with wariness it was no secret that there were a few of the older girls who noticed his strength, his handsomeness- no his beauty; he was beautiful. She reached out and was struck by his overwhelming grief that pooled in her core, she picked up on unworthiness and danger. Now she was the one who was confused, she felt the weight of the words before they fell from his trembling lip. 

“We can’t Rey, we can’t.” and a spider web of cracks formed in her chest expanded a little more as he placed his hands on her shoulders and nudged himself back. 

Her face fell but she nodded curtly and pushed up from the ground heading towards the door leaving him on the ground. As much as she wanted to be done with it- with him in that moment she knew that she’d regret it they were at war after all, anything could happen. She swallowed the rock in her throat 

“I’ll see you in the morning?” she offered glancing back in his direction. He lifted his head from where it was hanging and met the deep forest of her eyes 

“If you’ll have me.” 

As she swept through the threshold of the door there was no point in denying her feelings “Always.” 

The artificial lights above the round table are buzzing and irritating her but it’s a conference room in a government building so she can’t complain. The members of the council are slow to fill the room and she stares down at the swirling steam escaping from the dark beverage in front of her. She doesn’t like caff, and she especially hates it hot, and she loathes it without cream and sugar. She pushed the cup forward a bit so she wouldn’t have to inhale the bitter scent and looked down at her chewed fingernails to pass the time. Han finally begins to speak bringing her attention forward. 

“As most of you know the situation with The First Order is becoming critical” he pauses pressing a button that projects a map onto the table center. 

“We have continued to move our troops towards The mid rim border where we are being hit the hardest but it doesn’t seem to be making much of a difference. This being the case;” 

The doors behind her swing open and Ben rushes into the room taking the seat to her right. There is still sweat sticking to his forehead and Rey notices that there is a crudely wrapped bandage around his left arm. His transport couldn’t have landed more than two minutes ago and in his haste to make it to the meeting he’d opted to skip over cleaning himself up. After adjusting himself he addresses the eyes that have all fallen upon him. 

“Apologies father” he rumbles and nods towards everyone. Han resumes his speech and Rey feels a pinch on her thigh. 

She eyes Ben without turning her head and slides caff that had been steaming in front of her over towards him. A quick and tight smile crosses his features and he wraps his large hands around the warm paper stilling the slight tremor that has become present in them. She can only see his profile from the corner of her eye but she drinks it in all the same. His dark hair is falling a little past his shoulders now and its starting to curl a little. His chest is starting to fill out and rises and falls slowly. His arms are pushing against his shirt sleeves desperate to escape the fabric. 

“Ben?” his name draws her attention away as she sees him straighten again and his throat bob. 

“My covert operation is going quite well, last week I rendezvoused with a high ranking official of The First Order and demonstrated my skills, based on the reaction I think I will be granted an audience with Snoke soon. They do not suspect where my allegiances lie as far as I can tell. However, that may become more difficult if I am to have an audience with him.” 

“Well done my son. I suppose it is time for you to complete the secondary portion of this infiltration. When you are summoned to meet with him you will leave us, Finn will be stationed in the North and wait for any communications you feel you are able to send to us safely. It is imperative that you do not fail in gathering the intel we need, less our plans to infiltrate and destroy The First Order from the inside will not succeed.” 

Ben didn’t offer any further comment as his father began to speak again droning on about the different locations of troops, the lack of food plaguing the regions, and the slave trade that was bubbling up in the markets to the East closest to The First Order’s newest strong hold. 

He finally passed the meeting over to Poe who leaned forward in his chair. 

“As my father pointed out our numbers are starting to dwindle and we are faced with the potential of having to re-instate a draft. However, we would like to avoid this at all costs an uprising and protests from our people will do us no good in our fight against The First Order. With that being said we have collectively decided to waive the age requirement on enlistment.” 

Rey’s stomach rumbled and she wiped her palms on her knees. 

“Which is why I’d like to welcome Rey to our meeting today in her first official capacity. She will begin her commitment in the outer rim focusing her skills on aiding the slave trade that is rearing its head” 

Ben’s head whips towards her so fast she’s surprised his neck doesn’t crack out loud. 

“Absolutely not!” He is met with several stares, most understanding and some bewildered that he would speak out of turn. 

Being the Leia Organa’s son he was raised better than that after all. Poe looked up at him from the head of the table. 

“Ben, surely you agree that Rey is ready for a mission, she has been training along side us for years now.” 

Ben shifted in his seat fixing his eyes on the wall behind his brother 

“She hasn’t passed her third trial. I won’t jeopardize the safety of our troops with someone inexperienced. Nor do I believe that she is prepared to deal with a mission let alone a war. Infiltration of an underground slave operation is hardly something she can handle. What if something goes wrong? Not only will we lose her but we could lose hundreds of our people who have already been captured. We need to bring those people back, and in one piece.” 

The words stung everyone’s skin and hung heavily in the air, he wasn’t wrong about the disparity of Alderaan’s ongoing struggles. Poe looked at his brother quizzically 

“Ben, we held the trials last week, you were off world. She passed and paid great homage to you I may add.” 

Ben visibly winced, she knew he had meant to come back before the trials.  
He was wrong about her unpreparedness though and she couldn’t understand why he was being this way. She could almost see the anger rolling off his shoulders as he gripped the arms on his seat. She remained impassive, confidently masking her emotions. Poe’s eyes fell to her 

“Do you doubt that she will be able to hold her weight? She is your understudy, you recommended her to complete her third trail under the pretense that she was ready. She, Finn, Rose and yourself are by far the most skilled fighters we have. Do you doubt your teachings? You have been preparing her for a mission such as this” 

Ben’s eyes held Poe’s as he struggled to respond over the tightness in his throat 

“…No, I;” he hesitated contemplating his next words. 

“As I said I don’t think it wise to send her on such a dangerous and important mission as her first, we would do her a great disservice and there is too much at stake. Finn has been with me for over a year now and Rose has been working for months, they are hardly as inexperienced as she is and would be much more suited assist.” 

Poe leaned back in his chair drumming his fingers on the table. 

“Rey? What do you make of this?” 

All eyes fell to her aside from Ben who kept his eyes on the table, blood was dripping from the patch covering his forearm. She knew he was worried, concerned for her as he always seemed to be. She kept her resolve, she would be fine just as she always was. She cleared her throat and addressed the council 

“I am ready for the mission and I am flattered that the council feels I am ready to join the ranks and the fight. I know the risks, and I know how important it is that we gather this intel to assist our people.” 

Her eyes drifted from Poe to Ben. He was attempting to keep his emotions in check though he was not as gifted as she was at that particular skill. She continued with confidence 

“As for the concerns being presented to the council, I can understand the hesitation to allow me to join a high stakes recon so quickly. However, as you said Finn, Ben, Rose, and myself are top of our class. Perhaps if someone was to join me on this mission Benjamin would feel more confident in its success. Although, I have to admit I don’t think that Finn will fit the bill for the organization’s… standards…” 

Poe shifted back towards the table nodding along with her words 

“I agree, it would have to be Rose. Would that help to quell your concerns brother?” 

Ben swallowed hard shutting his eyes, she never called him Ben unless she was upset, his eyes darted back up to Poe nodding 

“Forgive me for speaking out of turn, continue with the briefing.”

He attempted to exit the conference room before she could get ahold of him but it was useless, plus she would just find him anyway. She didn’t say a word eyebrows raised and face unreadable, he dreaded what would come when they reached his room. He was surprised when they passed his doorway and stopped in front of hers. The door swung open and she pointed to her bed. 

He went and sat obediently shutting his eyes he struggled to take deep breaths. He felt sick, stupid, guilty, how could he have missed the trials and then not even realized. She stalked out of the fresher with her kit sitting cross legged in front of him. She didn’t speak holding her hand out he produced the poorly wrapped bandage grimacing as she unwound it. The gash went from the center of his palm down past his wrist and curved around his forearm. It was pretty deep, having bled through the bandage he’d tied around it before the meeting. She let out a sigh and shook her head. 

“You’ve got to get better at dressing your wounds, you’re going to bleed to death one day.” He mumbled in agreement watching her small fingers wrap around his wrist, dabbing a swab into bacta and pressing it gently into his palm. He jerked a bit but she steadied him. 

“I am ready you know, to go on a mission but if you think I’m not then please enlighten me as to what I can improve on. You weren’t there but I passed my trials, your father said I was practically flawless. Although, I know there are some things I could have done better like the…” 

He was listening but it was hard to concentrate on the words. He was too busy watching the way her lips moved and the way her tongue would dart out wetting them. Watching her eyes as they traveled over his wound the little golden flecks dancing amongst the deep green. He felt his chest tighten as a lock of her hair fell down into her face. He tucked it back with his free hand before she even noticed. 

“Do you want the anesthetic?” her voice surfaced disrupting his thoughts. He looked down at his wrist 

“Stitches?” 

“Yeah, at least a few it gets pretty deep in some spots here.” He nodded 

“I’ll be okay without it just warn me before you start.” She giggled 

“Ben Solo throws himself into battle but doesn’t like to look at needles, I’ll be sure to mention that at your eulogy one day.” 

She dug through her pack producing the sewing kit. 

“I’m sorry I missed the trials Rey.” 

She paused searching his face and to his surprise wasn’t angry or at least didn’t seem angry. He continued treading lightly 

“I- you know, I had every intention of coming back, I didn’t want to miss them” his voice was strained. 

She let out a sigh 

“I’m not angry with you Ben, I know that you think I am and you think that I hate you but I don’t. I know what you’re doing out there is important, I know you can’t always control it, I know you would have been here if you could have. Otherwise you would have had to get your ass kicked in front of everyone.” 

She grinned. He placed his free hand on her cheek, his smile was soft 

“I don’t deserve your kindness kid, but I really am sorry that I missed it.” 

She turned and nipped at his hand playfully. “I know, now close your eyes, I’ll be quick.” 

His hand dropped to his lap and he closed his eyes taking in a deep breath. His hand had gone numb hours ago so the stitches didn’t really hurt. He was playing the meeting over in his mind and decided to go ahead and breech the subject now before having to face it again later. The words came out quickly 

“You, there’s nothing that you need to fix Rey. You are ready for a mission; I just- I worry.” 

She let out a small laugh and he knew she was shaking her head 

“I know you do Ben, but I will be fine, you trained me yourself, and I’ll have Rose with me.” 

He mulled over her words before speaking again letting out a small wince as the needle pierced through a part of his forearm that apparently wasn’t as numb as he thought. 

“I know it’s just- you don’t know what its like out there Rey it’s getting worse. I feel like I don’t even know if what I am fighting for is worth it. More and more each day it seems like I’m on the wrong side of things. Not because we aren’t trying or because we are doing something wrong, but because despite all we are doing nothing has improved.” He winced again 

“Should have let me put some anesthetic on here. Are you okay?” She quipped waiting for his nod before continuing. 

“Sometimes I think we might be better off letting them take over, maybe they actually have the power to change things, maybe it would help.” He felt her lips brush across his forearm “done” she said scooting back and packing up her supplies. 

He eyed her work, it was immaculate as usual. She stood walking towards the fresher. 

“You’re right Ben, I don’t know what its like out there but how can you say that? Despite what they may know or the power they might posses The First Order is evil. Their system is enslaved to them, they are cruel. They have no life, no freedom. Before you and your father and brother took me from Plutt I had nothing. Sure, I had a job, but I barely ate, it wasn’t worth it compared to what I have now. I’d rather have this” she gestured around the room “and be starving than have to live as a slave to someone again.” 

She came back to the bed sitting next to him her legs swinging just above the floor. His face was in a grimace as it typically was when she talked about her past. It was difficult for him to deal with the fact that he hadn’t found her sooner even though it was silly to think that way. They had found her when he was merely eight years old and she was six, he shouldn’t have even been able to sense her, but their connection was immediate and despite having pills shoved down her throat everyday to weaken her powers Ben found her. Drawn to the small café without any reason aside from a sick feeling and a pull of gravity. Ben wiggled back and laid down crossing his arms behind his head and stared up at her ceiling still decorated with glow in the dark stars he’d placed there years ago. She joined him using his bicep as a pillow. 

“How are the nightmares?” she asked her voice soft. 

“Sometimes they aren’t as bad as before and sometimes they are awful but I think I’m so stressed right now that I don’t even have time to dream.” 

She shifts to face him “Is it scary out there?” 

He turns to face noting the way her face was failing to mask her nervousness. 

“When I have to command others, that’s when I worry the most. I am responsible for them, if they don’t make it then its on me… but like I said it’s mostly exhausting, I don’t think I have ever been more tired in my life.” 

“You should rest then. Are you leaving again before they contact you or?” his eyes were closed and his breath was beginning to even out. 

“I don’t think so- hope not want to spend some time here, rest.” 

She knew he was falling asleep she could see the rise and fall of his chest become slower and his body was starting to truly relax for the first time since he had gotten back earlier in the day. She wasn’t tired but she didn’t want to get up either. She resolved to lying there until he was deeply asleep feeling the small twitches in his hands as he fell deeper into his dreams. She reached out, brushing up against his subconscious and focused on wrapping it in warmth. He deserved to sleep a few solid hours without any disturbances, and judging by the circles under his eyes he was likely experiencing the nightmares more than he was letting on. When she was satisfied that the barrier would hold she softly withdrew herself and got the courage to move sitting up slowly. His arm reached out for the missing warmth and she swore she heard him mumble for her to stay but, that was likely her own yearning rather than his. She swung her legs down to the floor and stood stretching, she reached the foot of the bed and untied his boots, slipping them off. She then rounded up to where he was laying and gently unclasped his wristlet and slid it over his hand placing it on the nightstand. She summoned a blanket from the couch and laid it over him gently. She went to her desk and found a sticky note jotting down quickly for him to comm. her when he woke up. She placed it on top of his wristlet and headed for the door dimming the lights and shutting it quietly behind her. She let out the breath she had been holding to keep from waking him and pushed the thoughts of his sleep induced plea for her to stay out of her head.


	2. Now

Now

Before they could properly land and dock the ship Rey was lowering the ramp and jumping onto the platform. Everyone avoided her and nobody tried to stop her as she strode through the temple halls towards the council chambers. They were likely in a meeting but she didn’t care she was disheveled bypassing the medical wing and her chambers completely. Scratches littered her bare forearms, dirt was smeared on her palms and face, her hair was barely hanging onto the bun she’d pinned in place hours ago. The doors shot open with a resounding echo that filled the chamber 

“Ben is gone”. 

Poe’s face faltered briefly but returned to resolute stone at her statement. The rest of the council eyed him wearily 

“Poe, Ben is gone” and this time her voice cracked and she felt a hot tear melt down to her chin. 

He waved his hand dismissing the others who quickly scattered around her and out of the door. Poe let out a long breath gesturing for Rey to take a seat but she didn’t move, she couldn’t. 

“Tell me what happened.” 

Rey wasn’t ready to recount what had only occurred a few hours ago. It felt like it had been a life time since, every moment seared into her brain like a hot iron. She began willing her voice to stop shaking as best she could.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Snoke had known them by name, calling out as they attempted to escape. At the sound of their names falling from his lips Ben froze and turned to face him jerking his head back and shouting for Finn to take Rey and go. Finn had managed to pull her a few feet into the jungle before she shifted her momentum and wrenched her hand from his. She wasn’t leaving without Ben she wouldn’t allow him to sacrifice himself, not like this. She broke away from Finn and sprinted back towards the beach. She halted at the edge of the tree line, Ben was a few meters away speaking with Snoke, guns pointed at him from all sides. Rey’s heart clenched uncomfortably. He knelt before Snoke offering himself up to him giving them time to escape and Rey would not have that. She emerged from the jungle and shouted 

“Ben, RUN!” but it was as if her screams fell on deaf ears, none of the troops or Snoke even flinched in her direction. Suddenly Finn’s arms were encircling her from behind 

“Rey we have to go now!” 

“No! We aren’t leaving him behind, Ben! Ben! Why can’t he hear me? We have to help him Finn!” hot tears were streaking down her face as he attempted to pull her from where she had rooted herself to the ground. She was scratching up his arms 

“Rey! Rey stop! He knows what he’s doing we have to go!” She watched helplessly as Snoke lifted his hand in Ben’s direction and he fell to the ground and began clutching at his ears. The air around them wavered for a moment and she heard him screaming out in pain. She realized he was projecting a shield but he was struggling to keep it together as the invisible assault continued. 

“Rey he can’t hold that forever we have to go!” 

“No we can help him!” Finn spun her around and cupped her face 

“We will be of no help to him dead! Now let’s go!” 

She stumbled at this but it was enough for Finn to yank her from her place and begin to drag her back into the jungle towards the ship. She was still resisting him as he pulled her forward. They both stumbled when the shield fell as Ben’s screams filled the air around them. Rey dropped to the earth unable to move. Her head was being split open and all that she could hear was Ben as if he was right next to her screaming into her ears. It made her gag, she dug her palms into the dirt trying to catch her breath and center herself. Finn quickly knelt down and grabbed her by her shoulders. 

“Rey, we have to go” she couldn’t make out his face through the blur in her eyes. 

“We can’t, I can’t, don’t you hear him? He’s hurting him Finn, he’s going to kill him! We have to go back.” 

Her voice was cracking between a whisper and a whine. 

“I hear him Rey I do but we have to go, I have to get you out of here those are my orders, Ben can take care of himself I promise. You have to trust me.” 

She couldn’t speak she just nodded as Finn pulled her from the ground and led her deeper into the jungle. She thought she could still hear Ben’s screams as she stumbled her way through the cabin of the ship to their rooms. She bypassed her own and went straight for Ben’s sealing the steel door behind her. She realized that she wasn’t hearing his screams but her own as she became vaguely aware that her shoulders were heaving and sobs were falling from her lips. She wrapped herself in the sheets and buried her head in his pillow the familiar scent of lavender and sandalwood filling the crack inside of her that had developed since she’d first saw him writhing in the sand. No matter how hard she tried to breathe it in, or how tightly she wrapped the sheets around her it wasn’t enough to keep the void inside of her from splintering and growing until it felt like her entire body was fractured. The exhaustion of battle and the hurt in her chest won the battle and she was vaguely aware of the lurch from the ship’s engines before she melted into darkness. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Poe dragged his hand across his face. “I’d thought we had more time. They hadn’t contacted him, its been almost nine months. Snoke had to test his allegiances somehow…” he trailed off. 

Rey still hadn’t moved but it felt as if the earth began to shift underneath her. Poe stood and came to her wrapping her into a hug that she didn’t return. He then clasped her by the shoulders and steered her to a seat, taking the one next to it and moving it to sit directly in front of her. He took her hands in his and she realized that they were trembling. 

“I’ll be honest with you kid, I don’t know where to begin.” He looked up at the ceiling “I guess the beginning is a good of a place as any.” 

An hour later Rey is cemented to her seat, her insides have turned to marble and she can barely think straight enough to breathe. 

She wanted to hit Poe in the face as hard as she could, she wanted to cry and scream and crumble onto the floor but she didn’t. Her voice came out like she’d swallowed sand 

“So, all this time, the nightmares, panic attacks, it was Snoke, in his head? And now you’re telling me that he’s manipulated Ben to the point that he wants to be with him? Truly work with him and with The First Order?” Poe’s eyes bored into hers and he nodded curtly 

“This wasn’t part of the plan. He wasn’t supposed to go with him if anything like this ever happened. I know this isn’t what you want to hear Rey but I am afraid that we underestimated Snoke’s power, we didn’t know the hold he could have over Ben and now he’s chosen a path that we can’t follow or bring him back from.” 

Rey lets out a scoff “So you’re just abandoning him? Your own flesh and blood!” She didn’t care about being angry now and allowed the words to bubble out of her hot and through gritted teeth 

“He was having nightmares for MONTHS Poe, panic attacks, hearing voices. Do you know how many nights I spent just sitting with him so he could sleep for at least an hour or two?” 

She began to rise from her seat and Poe reached out for her, she yanked her hand away and reared back to slap his face but hesitated attempting to beat down the overwhelming feeling of hatred she had towards someone who was by all accounts her brother. 

“You knew, you all knew and you didn’t think to prepare him for this? You let him keep getting deeper and deeper and now you’re acting like this is his fault. How dare you! He’s our brother Poe. How can you be so calm? He didn’t want this, didn’t want to join Snoke; he was protecting us!” 

They were inches from each other and she finally tore her gaze from him and maneuvered around him heading towards the exit. Poe grabbed her wrist this time and didn’t falter when she tried to yank away. 

“I know what you’re thinking, you can’t go after him that is a direct order.” Her face twisted “I can’t believe you. I’m going and if you try to stop me then so be it but we both know who will win that fight.” Poe’s jaw went slack before steeling again he grabbed her other wrist 

“He’s not coming back, I know you can feel it Rey, I don’t want it to be true but you’ve seen him these past few months, heard what he’s said.” Rey freed herself from his grip 

“You’re right I have and apparently I have been the only one. How could you have noticed all of those things and not done something? Some great leader you will be.” 

She spat whirling around and exiting the chambers with a slam of the doors behind her. 

The arena wasn’t far from the council chambers, she exited the building and was met with a torrential rain. Her feet carried her to the center of the grassy area and she drew her knees up to her chest resting her forehead on her arms. She took deep breaths trying to still her trembling. She couldn’t stop the onslaught of memories that were pouring through her mind, she couldn’t produce any kind of mental shield against herself. Images flickered through her mind of Ben on the ground. 

Her breathing increased and her stomach was rolling as his screams echoed in her head. Her chest ached and she could feel the crack in her chest that she’d felt before. Her anger had dulled it but now it was present and aggravating to her very soul. She had to get herself together, had to get to her room, gather her supplies, find Finn and Rose and go. The longer she waited the longer Ben was in danger but she just couldn’t stop the hot tears streaming down her face mixing with her snot and spit that she couldn’t contain. She tried again to take a deep breath but the air wouldn’t reach her lungs. She pushed herself to keep breathing and traced back through her memories trying to focus on something good, something happy. There were fleeting little moments rubbing her thumb across his knuckles, tucking her head under his chin when he scooped her up into rare hugs, star gazing, fighting back to back. She couldn’t grab onto those things though, because most of the memories that made up the past nine months weren’t particularly pleasant, not in relation to Ben. Poe was right in that way; Ben had been struggling ever since he’d been awaiting Snoke’s invitation and she felt incredibly stupid for not fighting harder for him.

Her mind drifted thinking about the nights she stayed awake shielding his mind so that he could sleep, the nightmares, the voices, the way he had been fighting with Poe and his father, the way his mother was worried, the way she was worried, he wasn’t eating, he was alone most of the time, pushing them all away and now she knew why. It hurt because she was one of the only ones who stood by him, Finn and Rose had been distant sticking to each other like glue. He was alone and hurting even when she had been right there she hadn’t helped him, not in the way he needed. She pulled her thoughts back and away from the direction they were headed. She couldn’t keep thinking about that now, it was causing her body to shut down or it least that’s how it felt. Her lungs were still struggling to pull in air, her vision was hazy, her ears were ringing, her stomach was clenching uncomfortably and she could feel her muscles vibrating. Get it together Rey she inhaled as slowly as possible thinking about her training. His voice rolled through her head from their many training sessions Breathe Rey, fortify your walls, you have to be able to shield your mind from everyone including yourself. She steeled herself and took a shuddered breath, she wouldn’t fail him more than she already had. She slowly unclenched her hands and unfolded her arms letting her knees stretch out in front of her. She crossed her legs up and flattened her palms against her knees rubbing the sweat away. She breathed again this time feeling the cool and wet air enter her lungs and she focused on a distant memory from a little over a year ago.


	3. Ben completes his trials

She felt the sunlight filter in through the pale pink curtains and cast a warm glow across her face. She had already been awake for about an hour but it was Sunday so she lazed in bed as long as she could. Her wristlet vibrated alerting her that breakfast was ready and she smiled tossing back her duvet and making her way over to her bathroom. She found a hair tie and threw up her messy curls into a bun quickly glancing at the mirror to ensure it didn’t make her look too crazy. Satisfied she exited the fresher, passed through her room, and made her way down the hall. The kitchen never disappointed her, she had spent her weekends and holiday’s at the house for six years now but it still surprised her that she was afforded the luxury of being surrounded by huge windows that overlooked the ocean and cabinets full of food. Leia was already seated at the head of the table, going over some sort of document that Rey assumed was for the upcoming senate debate. She kissed Leia on the forehead lightly and greeted her sweetly 

“Morning, is that for the debate on Wednesday?” 

Leia looked up and smiled as Rey took her seat 

“Yes, it’s the motion drafted up by the Duke of Coruscant. He’s asking for quite a lot of leeway and I don’t think it will be an easy vote.” 

Rey nodded reaching over to pour herself some juice from the pitcher. Han came in from the back patio still in his sleep robe and ducked down to wrap his arms around Leia kissing her cheek. 

“Princess, we agreed, no business at the table until Monday.” 

Leia let out a sigh and playfully slapped his hands “I know; I know” she said tapping at her wristlet until the documents disappeared. Han took a place next to Leia at the table and addressed Rey brightly “Good Morning sweetheart, where are the boys?” 

Rey rolled her eyes “No idea, you know they always stay out late Saturday’s” He nodded and tapped a few things on his wristlet. 

“Well, they’d better get down here soon I’m starving.” Rey agreed as she heard pounding steps above her. 

“Looks like they got the message.” 

A few moments later Ben and Poe came bounding into the kitchen greeting their mother with light kisses to her forehead and taking their seats. Ben plopped down next to Rey and Poe next to their father. Rey eyed Ben and he flashed her a grin, extending a finger to poke into her thigh. She swatted his hand away and rolled her eyes, shaking her head back and forth. His mother addressed the group with a wide smile 

“Nice of you two to join us, let’s eat shall we?” The boys immediately dug into the spread in front of them, passing dishes around until everyone’s plates were topped with bacon, eggs, toast, jelly, potatoes, and fruits. They ate in a comfortable silence before Han cleared his throat. 

“Ben, are you ready for your trials this week?” Poe interjected before he could respond. 

“He’d better be, I’ve been training that mountain non stop for months, he’s ready.”

A blush crept up Ben’s face and he addressed his father

“I feel ready yeah, I’ve been studying the texts, I know the third and fourth form like the back of my hand.” Poe’s fork stopped mid air 

“The third and fourth? Ben, the third trials cover the sixth and seventh form. Tell me you’re joking.” Ben’s jaw dropped slightly 

“No, it’s definitely the third and fourth.” Rey’s eyes darted between them and towards his father who mirrored Poe’s exasperation. Leia remained calm, a small smirk on her lips, and Rey looked back to Ben who had poked her thigh teasingly again. The silence at the table broke with Poe tossing his fork down. 

“Ben, you’ve got to be kidding me, I have told you a million times what the forms are! We have practiced them relentlessly.” 

Leia was the first one to break letting out a stifled giggle, and Rey joined in with her slapping Ben on the shoulder. 

“You’re going to give him a heart attack.” 

Han picked up on things quickly and Poe tossed his napkin across the table at Ben’s face. 

“You’re the worst.” Ben was smirking 

“You love me. You can’t deny it brother.” 

Poe resumed eating “actually I can” he pushed out over a mouthful of eggs. 

Leia corrected him immediately “Don’t speak while eating, you know better and Ben, please don’t give your brother a hard time at The temple this week, I can’t be pulled away from the debates and I only have one day off for your trials.” 

Ben began playing with his food on the plate avoiding her eyes. “Yes, mom.” 

They had arrived at The temple later that night. Rey struggled with her pack as they made their way up the path to the dorms. Ben scooped it up from her as he did every week despite her protests. He made it to her door a few paces ahead and she pushed it open to allow him to enter. She caught up a few moments later and he was already sprawled out on her couch. She shut the door behind her and kicked off her boots flopping down on top of his legs. He let out a grunt 

“Jeez Rey lay off the pizza kid.” She stuck her tongue out in rebellion and looked him over. His eyes were closed and his face was relaxed she took it in even though she had memorized it long ago. She let out a sigh and leaned her head back 

“So, no more weekends at home for you after this week.” He didn’t open his eyes but let out a small agreement and nodded his head. 

“Are you nervous?” a silence filled the room for a few moments before he took a breath in. 

“No.” She lifted her head and looked at him willing him to open his eyes. One of them slid open and he held her gaze. 

“Are too, you know you’re an awful liar.” 

He chuckled and began shifting under her to a sitting position. He wrung his hands in front of him looking at the floor. 

“I’m not nervous about the trials, I know I’ll pass them, I always do. I just, I don’t know if I want to join the council.” Rey was sitting up now cross legged and placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to join the council just because you pass your trial.” He looked back at her and leaned into her touch. 

“You know I do.” Rey grimaced, she knew that Ben didn’t want to be involved in the council or politics. He wanted to work in humanitarian services, helping others, and while some could argue that politics helped others he would vehemently disagree. She scooted over behind him and wrapper her arms around his torso resting her hands over his heart. 

Their breathing synced up immediately and Rey felt content, happy even. She couldn’t deny that she was starting to feel differently towards Ben as they grew older. He was divinely handsome, strong, smart, he was kind, and caring too even if he didn’t always share that with others. He didn’t have eyes for her though, at least not in that way, and it pained her to know that this could be one of the last moments that they shared before he was at The Temple full time. 

Ben didn’t resist her embrace, he reveled in it for as long as he could. He knew that they couldn’t keep being affectionate like this. He knew that he was about to be at The temple full time, with responsibilities and duties. He could be deployed any time after his trials and he couldn’t drag Rey around through all of that. Not romantically anyways, she would always be there, he knew that but he had to set the boundary soon. She deserved to not feel obligated to him as he knew she did from all those years ago. He also couldn’t deny that his feelings for her were changing the older she got. She was always beautiful, always smart and brought him a feeling of calm and belonging but now, he felt himself thinking about kissing her almost too frequently. It wasn’t appropriate, she was only two years younger than him but thirteen compared to fifteen was a big difference. He didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea about them, and he didn’t want to subject her to any teasing. He heard everyone make fun of him for how he looked, too old for his age, tall and lanky, his hair too long, his nose too big. She had always looked up to him, but as a brother, she lived with him most of her life, there was no way that she felt anything more than that. Even if she did, he couldn’t think of that now. 

He pried her arms from around him and gave her hand a thankful squeeze rising and stretching 

“We’re training early in the morning, be ready before sunrise.” She let out a huff and rolled her eyes. 

“Don’t you ever sleep?” he smirked walking towards the door. 

“Being ready means ready to go, don’t make me have to drag you out of bed.” 

Before she could respond with something to piss him off he was out the door. He would be the death of her, she was sure of it. 

The morning of the trials Rey woke with the sun of her own accord. She dressed in a simple grey outfit not wanting to bother with taking too long to get ready. After she braided her hair up she glanced over herself in the mirror satisfied. She followed the familiar path to Rose’s room and knocked lightly. The door creaked open and Rey ducked inside. Rose was in the bathroom getting ready so Rey leaned against the door frame giving her space. Rose was tall and slim with pin straight silver hair. She had it styled half up with a bun and had applied makeup but still looked soft and natural. She smiled at Rey in the mirror 

“Are you excited for today?” Rey shrugged and pushed herself off the door frame approaching the sink. She lifted the mascara and Rose nodded approvingly. She began to apply it 

“I guess, I’m more excited for Finn and Ben. This is their last trial; after this they will be at the temple full time. Rose’s gaze raked over her in the mirror 

“Is that what you’re wearing?” Rey’s mouth was open as she continued to darken her lashes “uh huh”. 

Rose made a face and breezed past her towards her closet. She re-appeared as Rey was finishing up adding some nude color to her lips. A white sundress scattered with yellow sunflowers was dancing in the mirror and Rey groaned audibly. 

“Why would I wear that?” Rose shoved the dress into her arms and pushed herself up onto the counter facing Rey. 

“Well for one it’s cute, two it’s a ceremony, and three Ben will love it.” She giggled and Rey’s cheeks grew warmer she was gaping at Rose not knowing what to say. Rose laughed again 

“It’s okay, I mean I don’t blame you Ben has… grown up a lot and I mean you know how I feel about Finn. It’s natural to have those feelings, to want to impress him.” 

Rey’s mouth had closed but she was still completely flustered. She hoped that she wasn’t as obvious as her friend was making her out to be. 

“I, Ben doesn’t, we don’t, he’s like my brother.” 

Rose held her gaze “Yeah I remember when I said Finn was like my brother too. I’ve seen the way you guys are Rey, I’ve seen him look at you and it’s definitely not the way a brother looks at a sister, or how a friend looks at a friend.” a grin spreading across her face. 

Rey let herself break into a grin for a moment before sobering herself. 

“I don’t know Rose, he’s nice, and he does have a look about him, and I do enjoy his company and well we aren’t kids anymore and he isn’t really my brother so…” trailing off Rose cuts back in hopping down off the counter. 

“That settles it then you’re wearing this! Get changed we’ve got to leave soon to get good seats.” Rey blushes and looks down at the dress holding it to her chest so that the hopefulness that blooms there doesn’t burst from her body. 

Rey and Rose make their way to the front of the stands that surround the small arena adjacent to the courtyard at the entrance of the temple. Rey scans the crowd and catches Poe and Han’s eyes as they presided over the grassy expanse along with the other council members. They both acknowledge her and Han tips his head to their right and Rey catches Leia’s eye and waves, a grin breaking across her face. She turns to Rose who is craning her neck undoubtedly searching for Finn. 

“Leia saved us some seats near the front let’s get settled” Rey directed tugging Rose towards the stands. Leia wrapped her in a quick embrace and the trio took their seats as a quiet began to settle over the small crowd of students and parents that have gathered in the stands. Han rises from his seat among the council members and raises his hands to finalize the silence. 

“Good Afternoon everyone, we are pleased for those of you that could join us in bearing witness to the students who will today partake in their final trials graduating from student to master. As with all trials, the students will be tested in four areas The Basics, Forms, Weaponry, and Power. Today we have four fantastic students who each in their own ways have proven their readiness to put themselves to the test in front of you all today. Students, please observe and take note in preparation for your future endeavors. Let the trials begin.” 

Han’s voice resonated in her very bones and she grew aware of her heart thundering in her chest anticipation rising as Ben, Finn, Clay, and Taryn emerged and spaced themselves in a row in the middle of the field. She sucked in a breath studying Ben in the sunlight. His eyes were squinting and she noted that he already had a sheen of sweat on his brow. He was clad in all black as tradition deemed and wore long sleeves despite the sun beating down from directly overhead. The pale features of his face reflected the sunlight and she wondered if he’d put sunscreen on. He was confident, head held high as he gazed up at his father and brother, she knew the pressure was on him more so than the others simply due to his family status. Not only were Han and Poe on the council, his mother was a governess for the resistance and the descendent of the previous monarchy which technically made Ben a literal prince and he completely looked the part. Rose’s feverish whisper pulled her from her thoughts 

“They’re starting” Rey blinked refocusing on the field. 

The basics were tasks that anyone who could wield the force could complete. They all mimicked the same motions and summoned objects, broke them apart, threw them at targets, picked locks, and toppled trees. Each of the students passed the basics with no issues. Forms were next, there were seven in total but the third trials focused on forms three and four. Masters who had already completed their trials partnered up with those completing their trials bowing low before entering a defensive stance. Rey noted that Ben was struggling to refrain from using parts of his favorite form, three, throughout his sparring session that was supposed to reflect form two. Rey hoped that she was the only one who noticed but she realized that she wasn’t as the Master he was partnered with did not allow him to move onto the next form. Ben’s face soured and he raised his arm to wipe his brow looking to the ground and beginning to breathe deeply, re-centering himself. He looked towards their spot in the crowd again and Rey didn’t know if he could really see her but she gave an encouraging smile all the same. He looked back to his partner and nodded falling back into form two and executing it with perfection. 

Rose leaned in towards her “Finn is doing well, how’s Ben fairing?” 

Rey grumbled never taking her eyes off of him as he moved through form three with ease and moved on to form four. 

“Good, he struggled not letting three leak into the other forms, repeated two, but he’s on four now.” Rose let out a laugh “He’s as stubborn as Finn is about to be with weaponry.” 

Rey nodded in agreement, it wasn’t that Finn loathed weapons all together but anytime he was meant to use something other than a staff he struggled. 

“He will manage, Ben had better hope that he practiced something other than his saber.” 

She felt Rose nod in agreement as they both resumed watching the trials unfold. The weaponry trials began with the students moving through an obstacle course switching between blasters, sabers, staffs. Then they moved onto the sniping. Rey was grinning to herself as Ben took the field, he was the picture of steadiness, lowering himself into position he took out the first targets. She noted the way his fingers were feather light on the trigger but secure in their actions. Before he took each shot he let out a breath to center himself and she swore she could almost feel it on her neck. Once he completed his task he moved on to working with the crossbow, traditional bow, staff, and knifes. Rey watched with intent as his large hands enveloped the throwing knifes gripping their handles with strength, the veins in his wrists pulsing with each twitch of his muscles. She felt a warmth in her core and her cheeks flushed. She didn't need to watch as he moved on to using his saber. He was immaculate with it, like a professional dancer he'd move through that part of the trial with ease and comfort. More feelings of warmth trickled up from beneath her naval and she quickly looked away and to the left where Finn was still struggling with the course. She nudged Rose who was intently tracking his every move. 

“He’ll get it; Ben has been helping him practice.” 

Rose forced a tight smile “I know; I know he just- I can see him getting self conscious because he’s behind the others. Could you?” she looked at Rey expectantly. 

Rey wasn’t one for bending the rules in any situation really and any interference in the trials by anyone was something that would not go unpunished. Not to mention that they would have to disqualify everyone and hold the trials again. 

“I don’t think I can, if I get caught…” Rose grabbed her hands 

“You won’t Ben is moving on to his powers testing you’re both telepaths I know you’ve done it before.” Rey opened her mouth to deny Rose but closed it and flexed her jaw 

“Ben is the strongest telepath we have, besides you- I know you can reach him and he won’t falter.” 

Rey turned back to the field and spied Ben waiting on the side of the field for the others to finish their weapons forms. She was doing this for Finn, closing her eyes and breathing deeply through her nose she caught hints of lavender and books. 

“I know this is against the rules but” she’s cut off quickly 

“what the fuck are you doing Rey” 

“Rose asked, Finn is struggling with the weapons course.” 

“I’m well aware” she pursed her lips 

“Encourage him” 

“He must complete the trials unassisted you know the rules” 

she pushed her words through harder “He is one of your only friends and you will help him.” 

She saw a brief frown pass across his face before he slammed their connection shut. Rey straightened her spine and faced Rose 

“He’s angry” she supplied Rose let out a laugh 

“Isn’t he always, he won’t stay mad with you anyway, he never does.” 

Rey grinned at that because she knew Rose was right glancing back across the grass she saw that Finn had made substantial progress and was on the last part of weaponry which he glided through with ease. As he exited the field Ben rose to meet him and they exchanged a quick embrace. 

The final stage of the trials was testing each individual’s unique force abilities. While everyone shared the basic skills and could use a little bit of every ability each student had one gift that they mastered and perfected. Ben and Rey shared the same gift for telepathy in which they could poke and prod around others minds. They could see their memories, hear their thoughts, and persuade them to do tasks. There were other things they could do if the situation called for it but The temple shied away from teaching those sorts of things to students. Altering memories, inflicting pain, rendering complete control over another more so than simple persuasion. Rey and Ben were both considered two of the strongest telepaths that The temple had ever trained. Yet, Rey was still on the edge of her seat as Ben strode across the field and approached his partner. She watched his long legs fold up underneath him as he sat and closed his eyes his lashes tickling his face. The little sound that the crowd around her had been making disappeared and she brushed up against his mind with soft touches and encouragement. If he’d felt her he didn’t let on as he began his test. He finished quickly, having no trouble pulling thoughts and memories from his partner. He’d finished off with persuading him to stand and bow to the council before exiting the field. 

Ben knelt on one knee now before the judges and Rey could see the relief in his shoulders as he realized that he was done. Han approached the center of the platform smiling down at Ben with pride. 

“It is with great pleasure and admiration that I announce the completion of his third trials to Benjamn Organa Solo. You may rise and join your fellow masters.” 

Ben beamed and Rey felt a warm tear track down her face she couldn’t have been more proud of him. He turned to the crowd as he stood and caught her eye, his dimples were burning into his cheeks and she returned his warmth intently. 

Finn was up next and his ability was one of the most complicated to test. Finn had the foresight of the future, or what could be the future. What he saw in his visions were not always exact and they always read as more of a feeling of emotions which he was also quite gifted at doing. His powers were two-fold in that way and both were being tested before everyone. His rarity of possessing two powers drew in everyone’s attention. He was difficult to test because he couldn’t force himself to have a vision, so he would have to sit in the center of the field and reach out to everyone and see if anything happened. A master trained in telepathy would be watching his mind for the vision, once one occurred he would let the judges know his task had been completed. Rey held her hand out and Rose took it nervously, she gave her a reassuring squeeze. It didn’t take as long as they thought it would as Rey noticed Finn’s posture adjust and his face flicker with intense emotions. The master looked equally taken aback, his eyes widened momentarily before he turned to nod at the judges that the task was complete. Rose released Rey’s hand and sighed in relief “they did it”. 

The other two students completed their tasks as well, one a healer and the other a conjuror like Rose, with the ability to produce what they needed out of nothing. Rose took notes as her trials were quickly approaching in the upcoming months. Rey thought about the fact that she had been too enraptured by Ben to even think of taking notes, but her worry subsided, Ben was training her for her trails and she still had about a year before she could test. 

When the ceremony completed Rose left Rey with Leia as she sought Finn and his family out. Ben was being clapped on the back by several members of the council followed by Poe and his father both wrapping him into solid embraces. 

“He’s made us so proud” Leia gushed from beside her. 

“He really has, I hope I can do as well as he has.” 

Leia took her hands “You will, you are strong and you have us, that’s all you need. Plus, I’ve seen you give Ben a run for his money during your training at the house, you’ll do fine.” 

Rey grinned and let out a yelp as Ben bounded up to her and wrapped her up in his arms. Her head tucked into his neck while his voice rumbled in her ear 

“You’re lucky I’m so good or else we would have been caught and I think I’d have killed you if I would have had to start over.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh as he let her down 

“Congratulations MASTER”. 

He preened and a smile split across his face as Rey noted the pink flush on his cheeks. He turned his attention to Leia whose eyes were welling up. 

“Oh mom, don’t cry” he let out with a laugh as he bent down to take her into his arms. 

“I’m so proud of you my darling” she complimented kissing his cheeks. 

Rey took in the scene with a warm heart willing herself not to cry. She scanned the crowd and spotted Finn and Rose in an embrace before they pulled apart and shared a kiss. 

Rey turned back to Ben and his mother not wanting to interrupt their moment but was faced with an entirely new dilemma as a surge of jealousy swirled in her chest. Not because she wanted Finn or Rose but because she wanted Ben to kiss her that way instead of the soft kisses he sometimes laid on her head or hand. Those were nice, but they were different, and Rey had to push away the idea of wanting something more as she eyed the way his lips moved and how his nose crinkled when he laughed.


	4. Finn's Mind

She shuddered coming back to herself and realized that it was well into the evening, the rain had ceased and she was drenched to her bones. The ache in her heart had dulled as the memory swept through her mind. She was beyond exhausted but determined none the less. 

She rose from the ground and made her way back into The temple. She bypassed her room and headed straight for Finn and Rose’s which they now shared. She knocked twice before the door swung open. Finn and Rose were on their sofa and had clearly been in deep conversation. Rose stood from her seat and engulfed Rey in a hug 

“I’m so sorry Rey.” Rey squeezed her eyes shut, she was on a mission, falling apart now was not an option. Finn was still on the couch his face looking as stricken as Rey’s and she realized he must be feeling her emotions 

“Sorry Finn.” 

“It’s fine” he mumbled “It’s not just you, I feel it too.” 

She nodded pulling back from Rose who returned to the couch and saddled up to Finn’s side. Rey began to pace in front of them as she divulged what Poe had told her hours before. As she reached the end of the story she turned to face them and noticed that while Rose seemed shocked and concerned with her revelations Finn was attempting to remain controlled and blank faced. She paused mid sentence and skimmed his thoughts. It hit her like a hammer and she couldn’t form a thought still reeling from what she’d learned. 

“You knew?” Rey whispered, Rose turned to Finn her mouth agape. 

“How could you Finn? He trusted you, you were his best friend. All this time you’ve been distant from him, why? Why wouldn’t you help him?” tears were stinging her eyes now and her fists were clenched at her side. Finn buried his face in his hands 

“I- you don’t understand Rey I tried to help him to show him, but it didn’t help and he shut me out I couldn’t reach him…” 

She cut him off with venom in her voice “Then why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped I was with him every time he was home.” He flinched at her tone but replied easily 

“He asked me not too. He didn’t want you to see.” 

Rey stood with her breath uneven and her posture rigid. 

“Finn you knew he was struggling with the nightmares, the voices, everything-”she paused “Didn’t want me to see what?” 

Finn laid back against the couch and let out a puff of air. 

“You’re going to want to sit down” he gestured to the space on the floor in front of the couch as he slid down. She hesitated for a moment trying to regain control of her emotions before taking a place across from him on the floor. 

“You’ll see everything, feel everything, are you ready for that?” Finn asked gently. She wasn’t breakable and she needed to know. Resolved in this she gave him a nod and he placed his arms out in front of her with his palms turned up. she mirrored his posture and laid her hands in his closing her eyes. 

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The first thing she noticed was Ben, it always was, but he was different, older, darker. She couldn’t quite make out their surroundings, it was dark and it didn’t quite feel like there was any ground beneath her feet but she called out to him all the same. He didn’t respond but moved forward and she began to follow. A hand clasped over her wrist before she could take a step startling her, it was Finn . 

“Can you hear me?” she questioned turning her head back in the direction Ben had disappeared. 

“Yes, this is- well I don’t quite know what this is actually. It’s in my head, I see everything here, and feel everything too. I can see the past and the future but there are many futures and many pasts.” 

He clarified gesturing around the void and looking up to what she now noticed were stars. She didn’t quite understand but she pressed on 

“If there are many how can you be sure that we will see the right future” his lips turned down and he looked back to her 

“I don’t, but I know our past so I can show you that with certainty- it never changes because it has already happened. It will help you understand how we got here.” She nodded 

“Show me.” He took her hand and travelled into the dark, it felt like they walked for hours but he quelled her hesitations 

“Time passes differently here, back in our room it may have only been a few seconds or minutes since we closed our eyes. Rose and I have been practicing trying to figure out the exact timing.” 

Soon a door appeared, one that Rey recognized as the council chambers at The temple. Finn looked back at her seeking approval and she gave it pushing the door open as she had countless times. 

It looked as it always did, plain grey walls with red furnishings. The round table and the members of the council sat around it waiting. Poe came through another door to the right followed by Ben and his father. Rey noted he was clad in all black and looked younger, happier. Poe and Han took their respective seats at the table while Ben stood behind his father. Han began 

“Welcome back everyone, we will get straight to business. As you all know we had four students successfully complete their trials this afternoon Ben being one of them.” 

He paused and the council members applauded lightly. She noticed Ben’s lips quirk for a moment before he collected himself. 

“Ben and Finn will be deploying to Coruscant and further their training for a month’s time before they are drafted to the front lines. Clay Redhone will be stationed on Tattoine at the medical center and Taryn Kol will take her place on her home world of Yavin IV where the new temple is continuing to grow. In addition to continuing his training Ben has volunteered for the position that we have been wanting to fill for some time in accordance with OP TX17.” 

The council members glanced around the room and Rey looked over her shoulder to Finn who nodded for her to return her attention to the meeting. 

An older member from Tattooine spoke first “You don’t mean to say that you want to send your boy there?” 

The Duke of Coruscant picked up “He couldn’t possibly be ready, he just passed his trials, I know that he is powerful Han but this is essential to the survival of the resistance and The Republic.” 

The woman from Yavin IV followed up “Let the boy speak” and the table fell silent. 

Ben’s jaw was set tight but he addressed the room in a tone that would make his mother proud. 

“I understand the risks, I understand the hesitation, but I know myself and my power. When I am on Coruscant I will continue my training and will further study into the art of espionage I will not leave until I am ready I know that nothing short of death would await me should I fail.” 

Rey grimaced at his revelation. Before she could refocus on the conversation the room began to warp and change.   
She was now in Ben’s room at The temple as he floated around the room tossing things into his duffel bag. She saw herself perched on his bed legs swinging back and forth. She didn’t look like herself though, she was surrounded by a sort of glow, and she noticed that she was prettier than the person she typically saw in the mirror. 

She looked around for Finn knitting her brows in confusion. All that he offered was a small smile “This is his memory”. 

She looked back at the scene and Ben was zipping up his bag. She remembered this day well, it was one of the best and worst memories that she had. She was so torn between being proud and happy for Ben and being sad and angry for him leaving her behind. In his memory she felt a heaviness that she hadn’t sensed before. He approached her and held out his hand pulling her up from her spot. She stumbled a little and fell into him before she threw her arms around him completely. Rey was hit with a wave of sadness which only served to confuse her more. Ben returned her embrace and held her so tightly that she remembered thinking he was going to break her. The sadness receded and she felt a swirl of emotions run through her system. There was apprehension, longing, trust, comfort, and above all else a steady warmth. It was difficult to tell whose emotions were flickering through her but she didn’t have time to decipher it before the scene in front of her began to change again.

She sees Finn and Ben in a shared room on where she can only imagine is Coruscant. Ben is sitting up on his bed his eyes wide and red rimmed, Finn is kneeling in front of him. He speaks in a quite whisper 

“I don’t understand it, its like he’s there in my head all the time.” Finn nodded solemnly 

“You have to fortify your shields; you can’t let him break you.” 

Things morph but they are in the same room. Its dark now and Rey sees that they are sleeping, and she knows that its coming before it does she tries to brace herself but it doesn’t do any good. Ben starts to thrash and howl in his sleep. It sounds like he’s being broken in half and Rey is flooded by the intense feeling of panic. Finn sprints over to Ben’s side and attempts to wake him but he he continues sobbing now curled in on himself. 

“No, no, no” he repeats with a cracked and hoarse voice. Finn places both of his hands on his temples and closes his eyes willing Ben to feel something other than the agony that Rey can feel in her bones that she knows is coming from him. Its like her whole body had been set on fire and doused in ice at the same time. Things morph again and Ben is sat on the edge of the bed again, dark shadows stretch out under his eyes. Finn is sat in front of him on the floor looking equally exhausted. 

“You don’t have to do this Ben they can find someone else. It’s not worth this, to lose yourself like this.” Ben doesn’t respond he doesn’t even blink his gaze far away. 

“It has to be done, I can take it.” he finally mumbles but Rey can feel the doubt and the self consciousness radiating off of him. 

Things move quickly now and she sees blurs and bits of pieces of their time on Coruscant. Ben storming into the bedroom and destroying things, knelt on the ground ripping at his hair, screaming in the night, forcing himself to stay awake for almost two days before he finally succumbs to the exhaustion. Finn is always there, trying and trying to pull him back. He’s boarding a ship and leaving returning with scars that run deeper than his flesh. He’s pleading with Finn to see his side of things, to see how The First Order could help them. They argue, Ben shatters all the glass in their room no effort his rage and anger boiling over and taking Rey by surprise. This isn’t the person she knew, this is someone else entirely, but she had seen him after this. She had been around him when he came back to The temple to visit and sure the nightmares and voices were there, he had told her that much but he was never like this, not with her. 

She sees them in another place she can’t make out, they are on a mission and have succeeded capturing an operative of The First Order that had attempted to stage a coup in a local system government. Ben was searching the captive’s thoughts but Rey knew things weren’t right. Ben was using a technique she didn’t recognize; he was going far too deep. The captive’s nose was bleeding and he was screaming, Rey could feel an unsteady wave of emotions crashing over her. It was like she was drowning and all that she can see is red. She watched as Ben continued to slash through the captive’s mind ignoring the protests of the others around him. Finn was pleading with him to stop and placed a hand on his shoulder. Ben grabbed it and twisted around furiously exerting his mind to slam Finn against the wall behind them. Just as his head hit the wall with a crack Rey saw Ben’s face fall. He dropped to his knees and was heaving like he’d ran for miles. The others in the room split into two some checking on Finn while others hoisted the captive and took him away. More feelings of agony washed over her, guilt, humiliation, regret, sadness. Finn recovered quickly and knelt down to Ben assuring him that he was okay but Ben wouldn’t react. Finn placed his hands on his temples and Rey became soaked in calm, like stepping into a warm bath or taking a breath of fresh air. She felt forgiveness, and worry from Finn while Ben still seemed to be struggling. Finn stood and extended his hand and pulled Ben from the floor. 

Things grew dark around her again and Rey turned to find Finn still behind her, with his hands clasped tightly behind his back. 

“He hurt you? I don’t understand. Snoke was clearly getting to him, manipulating him. Why didn’t the council stop this?” Finn looked to the ground solemnly 

“There is more to see” he lifted his hand and she took it following him in another direction. 

They are back at The temple now and Ben is absent. She sees Finn kneel before Han and Poe in what she knows is Han’s private office. 

“Ben is not fairing well, he’s still having nightmares, says that he hears Snoke’s voice, and that he comes to him. He nearly killed a man we were interrogating just last week. I fear for him, for his safety.” 

Han was seated behind his desk stoically looking on. Poe was standing by his side without a flicker of emotion across his face. Finn continued an edge to his voice 

“Surely you don’t plan for him to continue down this path, he’s becoming dangerous, unpredictable. He’s one of my oldest friends I only have his best interests at heart and I can’t keep watching him go this way. I have tried to reason with him but he is beginning to truly believe what Snoke is telling him. He’s teaching him things scary things, ways to use his power that I’d never imagined.” 

Han cleared his throat 

“We will speak with Ben and inquire with him about what you have shared. However, do you think that what you saw the day of the trials is influencing your thoughts?” 

Finn mulled Han’s words over and ran a hand through his hair. “Of course, the future I saw it was, disturbing.” 

Rey felt nausea bloom in her stomach and she looked back to Finn who had a stricken look on his face but motioned for her to watch. 

The Finn in front of her shifted unsteadily and swallowed 

“But I understand that it is one of many possibilities. However, I don’t think you’d want to see it come to fruition less you lose your son.” 

Han sat back in his chair 

“Based on what you have told me, I will heed your concerns and speak with Ben. However, I believe that he is ready to move forward with the mission, he’s got to be believable or you are right in your assumptions that Snoke will kill him.” 

Finn was taken aback 

“Sir, I see what you’re saying but you don’t understand I don’t think this is an act” he’s cut off by Poe who strides around the desk and claps a hand on his shoulder. 

“What my father is trying to say is that Ben has trained for this, Snoke is powerful can reach him even when he is not with him, he must put on an act at all times or Snoke will see his weakness, his true nature, where his loyalties lie and we certainly don’t want that.” 

She could still feel the unease radiating off of Finn as he swallowed and looked between Han and Poe. 

Things shifted again and now she saw Ben sweeping down the corridor of the hangar deck lethality in his eyes. Anger rolled off of him in waves and everyone moved from his path. He burst into the conference room of The temple disregarding whatever meeting was going on. He rounded the table and knocked Poe back in his seat as he began to stand. 

“What the hell was that!” he roared in Poe’s face sending furniture flying through the room. Members of the council looked frightened and ducked their heads to avoid the objects. 

“You sent us on a suicide mission!” Poe stayed rigid in his seat 

“We did what had to be done.” Ben reeled back 

“And if we would have been lost you would still sit here and justify it? No remorse for what you knew would fail and bring nothing but death?” Poe didn’t falter 

“Yes Ben, this is war.” 

Rey had never felt as strong as she did when this new wave frustration and hatred flowed through her, it startled her to think that Ben must have been feeling this too channeling it into his very being. She saw flashes of his hands around Poe’s throat, the room set ablaze with fire but she knew that didn’t happen because she knew this day. Ben had been in charge of a convoy that was sweeping the outer rim and he had lost all but two of his team. The world around her shifted yet again.

Finn and Ben were in Ben’s room and Ben was pacing tossing a ball back and forth between his hands while Finn sat on the bed quietly listening. 

“She kissed me and I wanted to kiss her back, but I can’t. If Snoke ever found out about her, he has already twisted so much I can’t lose that too.” 

He drew a deep breath and let out an aggravated “Fuck!” as he rocketed the ball towards his desk knocking over the lamp. 

Finn didn’t move just continued to sit and wait. Ben began again with heaving breaths 

“It’s already so difficult to hide you from Snoke. He knows there is someone helping me, I won’t keep risking your safety Finn, I will have to distance myself from you.” 

Finn closed his eyes and took a deep breath “You know that isn’t what I want. Let me help you Ben.” 

Their eyes met and locked Finn continued realizing that Ben wasn’t going to relent on his decision. “What happened after you kissed her?” 

Ben continued pacing relaxing a little 

“I told her that we couldn’t, I know that it hurt her but it’s for her own good. I must keep my distance from everyone, I know that I am growing dangerous. I can feel it Snoke’s influence over me is growing stronger. I can complete this mission but I can not have any attachments. He will use you all against me.” 

Finn nodded understanding “The vision is not the only possible future; you must remember that.” 

Ben paused and faced him 

“I know but I am fearful of what lies ahead. The deeper I get and the more I let him in the more I am convinced that he is right. The lines I am crossing and straddling are becoming blurrier by the day. Perhaps, once I am with him I can make a true difference our power combined would be unstoppable.”

Finn stood from the bed and gripped Ben’s shoulders 

“Don’t say that Ben, you know where that path will lead you, you will lose your very self.” 

Ben gave a tight smile “I am beginning to think that I already have, I don’t know what’s true anymore. My own brother sent me on a suicide mission, he has no remorse for death, it seems more and more that the systems care about holding onto their power rather than giving some up to help its people and that’s not what I signed up for.” 

Finn met her eyes and she saw that he was stricken from the memories and the feelings that had all rushed through her. Finn cleared his throat 

“Snoke has found out about you by now I am sure and there is no doubt he is twisting things in his head as we speak. I lost him a few months ago as you have noticed my distance. Now that he has offered himself to be Snoke’s apprentice I believe he has control of him. He has come to believe Snoke’s words as the truth. I fear that we have lost him Rey. He once had many paths to many futures, but those have disappeared with time.” 

Finn had tears flowing from his face freely and Rey stepped closer to him “How many?” 

Finn met her eyes and knit his brows “Only a handful now, the exact number changed every time I read him.” 

She swallows the lump in her throat and chokes out over a sob “and in how many does he come home?” 

Finn held her gaze but wouldn’t answer her question. Rey lets the sobs take over her now and Finn gives her the moment to attempt to process everything walking towards her and wrapping her into a hug. 

“I’m sorry for being angry with you before” she sniffles. He nods into her neck “It’s okay I understand”. 

She lifts her head and wipes at her eyes. 

“What did you see…at the trials? Please Finn, I need to know.” 

He steps back and rubs a hand across his neck. He met her gaze 

“You won’t like what I have to say.” 

She doesn’t blink catching his iridescent eyes 

“I can take it.” He nods 

“I saw Ben with Snoke doing his bidding, working with The First Order. I saw him ascend to take Snoke’s place as all Sith Apprentice’s do, he grew incredibly powerful, I’ve never seen anything like it. He helped destroy cities, he killed hundreds, they pushed forward from the East, they captured the Core Worlds. He wasn’t himself anymore, Snoke had twisted him into someone completely new. He showed no mercy not to me, or to you, his own mother-he fought against us, killed us. He was so angry, so sad, so lost… That is what I shared with Han and Poe. I even showed them, but they didn’t heed my warning. I fear that future will come to pass now.” 

Rey didn’t know how to feel she couldn’t believe that Ben would ever be capable of anything that Finn described but she had a deep feeling in her gut that he wasn’t exaggerating. Finn could see the hesitation on her face and grabbed her hands from her side. Instantly all that he described came to flash before her eyes quickly and unforgiving as it felt like she was being lashed over and over. He released her hands as suddenly as he had grabbed them and she felt bile rising in her throat. 

“They saw this, he saw this and still let it go on” She spat out feeling for the first time in her life a deep and cutting betrayal from the people she called family. Han was the one who taught her to fly, Poe spent hours on end reading to her during their summers. How could two of the three men in her life that anchored her, that saved her, disappoint her so much? Finn noticed her racing thoughts and interrupted them. 

“Rey, I don’t believe Han or Poe did so with poor intentions. They did speak to him after my warnings, but Ben insisted he was fine, that he would be okay. He volunteered for this, and he was at the time our biggest chance at getting someone into The First Order. The future is always changing, what I’ve seen could have already changed.” 

She stepped closer to him “I’m going to find him” she declared. 

Finn knew she wouldn’t listen to any protests against this decision. 

“Rey you must be careful Ben is no longer the person that we know.” She swallowed and pushed that thought away from her mind. She was still facing Finn and he began to pace and run his hands through his hair. 

Her voice wavered for only a moment as she began 

“I will bring him home Finn; I can’t abandon him to be manipulated by Snoke. If he is twisting his mind as you say then that is the only reason, the only way that he could ever do any of those things and he hasn’t yet… he won’t. Ben, our Ben would never hurt anyone not like that, not willingly.” 

Finn pinched his nose between his fingers “We don’t know that anymore Rey, the future is too unpredictable and unclear. Before he withdrew from me his mind was delicate and the longer she has been digging in the more solid that future becomes in my mind. If you can bring him back somehow I will be grateful for I feel that I have failed him but going after him will not be easy and you may be faced with choices, you can’t fathom to make.” 

He was facing her again eyes never leaving hers and unblinking. Rey’s heart was whooshing in her ears 

“I won’t kill him.” 

“And if you must? We can not allow The First Order or Snoke to take over, we have already lost too much. Under their rule we will be enslaved, indoctrinated, we will lose thousands of people, it will become a world in which it isn’t worth living, a world of suffering. You were a slave before, you know what lies ahead if they win.” 

His words were sharp and grave and gave Rey goose bumps she couldn’t get rid of. 

“It may come to pass that you will face him in battle, or have to watch and endure his suffering, his death even but you can not allow that, his choices, or who he was define your future, our future." 

Rey stepped towards him wringing her hands 

“Tell me something, anything I can use to reach him please.” Finn crumbled at the tremble in his friend’s voice. He resolved 

“In all of the possibilities I have seen there is only one thing that has remained constant.” 

She draws in a breath “You, you’re always present in every future and every past that he’s lived.” 

Finn looks up at the stormy sky that has appeared above him. 

“I know that you are going to search for him, no matter what I say, to try and bring him home.” 

Rey nodded affirming his words 

“It is what I feel I must do; I feel it in my very soul.” 

Finn placed hand on her shoulder 

“Then you must go.”


	5. The Oracle - A Force Dyad

The shuttle lurched and made her stumble as it settled in the soft sand of the beach. Wasting no time, she descended the ramp and took in the expanse of the wreckage in front of her. She had just been there, she was there as it was destroyed but she’d neglected to commit that to memory. The heat and humidity hit her and instantly made her sweat, the salt invaded her nostrils and laid heavy on her tongue. She trudged towards the last place she’d seen Ben, near the charred remains of an off road vehicle to the left of the bunker. Of course, there was nothing there. She sank her knees into the sand let the coarse grains run through her hands. There was no trace of him there, no indication of where they may have gone, coming here was pointless but she couldn’t shake the feeling that had drawn her to this place. She closed her eyes and smoothed her hands on her thighs breathing in slowly. She tried to think back and remember the last time she had been here, the things she may have missed, anything that could help her find him. The only sounds she could decipher were the waves lapping on the shore, an occasional bird singing out from the tree line, and the leaves dancing on the breeze. Frustrated she let out a huff and rose to her feet brushing off her legs. She gazed around scrutinizing the landscape landing on something poking out from the sand a few feet away. She approached it cautiously, The First Order were known for leaving mines behind to deter people from approaching battle grounds to scavenge for things. The closer she drew to the object the stranger she felt, an eerie calm had settled over her and as if someone had taken her hand and led her there she reached down and plucked the object from the ground. The second her hand made contact with the cool surface Rey sucked in a breath and dropped it as if she were stung. Tears welled in her eyes as she bent down and retrieved it again more prepared for the sting this time. However, a sting didn’t come, instead she was filled with fear and dread. It was like someone was behind her about to strike but she couldn’t move. Ben’s identification tag trembled in her hand as she ran her thumb across it. 

Benjamin Organa Solo  
DOB: 5 ABY  
Male  
Jedi Knight- 1st Commander Blue Squadron Alpha

Something behind her snapped and brought her back to reality. She whirled around facing the tree line barely making out a figure in the twilight. She tightened her grip on the tag and called out “Hey, who are you?” The figure did not acknowledge her and turned into the jungle. Rey felt it again something tugging at her insides urging her forward. She tucked the tag into a pocket and moved towards the tree line. She could no longer see the figure and grew anxious 

“Wait, I can’t see you!” 

she moved quicker now ducking under limbs and pushing through brush. She didn’t know where she was going, but somehow she did, even without being able to see the figure. She paused in a meadow that she came upon with no warning. It wasn’t a typical meadow, in fact it wasn’t a meadow at all, it was like a crater without the depth. As if someone had come in and just plowed everything out of the ground in a giant circle that spanned at least a half mile in every direction. All that remained in the circle was short grass that Rey determined had to be kept on a regular basis in order to stay so tidy. She crept further into the clearing keeping herself alert although she didn’t feel the need to. She felt like she was somewhere familiar and racked her brain to find some connection to this place. Before she could she caught sight of the figure across the open field. 

“Who are you? What is this place? Why do I feel so…?” she trailed off, watching as the figure made its way towards her. 

Years of training told Rey that she should be in a defensive stance, or backing away, or fleeing in any direction that she could but she didn’t. The figure stopped a few feet from her and tilted its head to the side curiously.   
It didn’t speak but Rey could hear its voice swirling around her head like a lazy song. 

“I am the oracle Luke, this place is my home, and you feel at home because you are my charge as the universe has willed it.” 

Rey felt her face contort “I don’t understand”. 

"Come to me, I will show you.” Rey hesitated thinking back yet again to her training, this was more than dangerous. The figure must have seen the way she began to move but stopped herself before a foot left the ground. 

“Don’t be afraid, listen to your heart, the force will not guide you astray.” 

Rey blinked slowly focusing on the unrelenting tug that came from below her ribs. She moved slowly approaching the figure with caution. When she was within a few steps of the figure all of the sounds around her stopped and it was as if she had entered a vacuum that only she and the figure were privy to. The cloak that had shrouded the figure melted away and in its place stood an old man with pale skin, blue eyes, and a long grey beard. Rey was mesmerized taking the man’s outstretched hand as if she had known him for years. The second she did she found herself in a familiar place, darkness all around her aside from the tiny dots of white heat in the sky. Rather than finding Finn behind her Rey saw the man eyeing her with intrigue. 

“You’ve been here before?” he inquired as Rey was marveling at sky above them. 

“Yes, Finn, my friend he showed me…” The man nodded 

“Your friend must be powerful to have been able to reach this place.” 

Rey regarded the man growing more relaxed 

“He is, but he didn’t know what this place was. He thought it was in his head.” 

The man moved closer towards him 

“Well he isn’t wrong, it is in his head but this place is special it allows for many phenomena that the physical world does not.” Rey’s eyes were wide nodding along with the man’s words slowly. 

“Tell me what did your friend show you?” 

“He showed me memories, and a future.” 

The man furrowed his brow 

“He took great risk showing you your future, that can be dangerous.” 

Rey angled her body to face the stranger. 

“It wasn’t my future it was… someone else’s” she stated her mind drifting over the thought that this could be a trap. 

The last person she had seen here was Snoke and the man had said this took incredible power. She took a step back but the man moved with him. 

“It isn’t a trap” he said touching his temple. Rey felt unsteady and she wet her lips with her tongue hastily. 

“I suppose I should explain why I brought you here to ease your fears” 

the man relented. He sat cross legged on the blackness surrounding them and patted the ground in front of her 

“come”. 

Rey remained in her spot eyeing the man wearily. 

“You’re here to find Ben are you not?” he said abruptly his mood shifting. 

Rey’s heart leapt into her throat “How did you?” 

The man was exasperated “Come” he said again. 

Rey looked around for anything that she could use to help her read the situation but there was nothing but darkness. Her hand had slipped into her pocket and she realized she was running her fingers over the raised lettering of Ben’s ID. She held her head up just like Ben had taught her, and approached the man attempting to mask her unease. The ground was stiff but not unpleasant to sit on and Rey made herself as comfortable as she could under the man’s stare. 

“Your friend…” 

“Finn” Rey supplied 

“Finn, whose future did he reveal to you?” Rey took a deep breath. 

“He showed me his memories of Ben, my, my brother, from their missions on Tattooine, showed me how Ben had been changing, his future, death, chaos, destruction.” 

The man interrupted “So Ben has gone to him? Snoke? That is… troubling…” 

Rey let out a shaky breath her brows raising and the man simply touched his temple. 

“He didn’t go with him willingly he was protecting us!” Rey blurted out feeling the urge to defend him. 

The man grimaced 

“I know of the mission you speak of, I know of Ben and of you Rey.” 

She froze unsure of what to think or say. The man took in a breath 

“As I said I am an oracle, you and Ben are in my charge. I brought you here to help you. I am only sorry that I was not able to get to you and Ben when you were last here. I share your friend Finn’s concerns. You said Ben was your brother?” 

Rey shook her head rubbing her palms on her knees 

“Not truly, but I have lived with him and his family for years. His father and brother liberated me from my master years ago.” 

Rey covered the burns inside of her wrist absentmindedly. The man observed her 

“Ah, that makes more sense I have never seen a life of yours in which you were kin to Ben in blood, but I suppose there is always a first time for everything.” 

Rey felt unease pool in her stomach still unsure of what to do or say. She felt the woman’s hand brush against hers lightly glancing down towards it. The woman brandished it towards her beckoning her to take it. She did so and the world around her shifted to reveal the grassy clearing they had been in before but it wasn’t truly the same place it couldn’t be. She had so many questions but before she could get them out the man rose from the ground and began to walk across the clearing tugging her along speaking much more animatedly now.

“Now that you are here and I have seen what Finn showed you, I don’t think he is an oracle by the way, though he could be with practice and of course he would have to live for thousands of years as I have. No matter, what he showed you was just a piece of the puzzle. He told you that in all of Ben’s futures and pasts the only constant was you correct?” 

he jerked her head back towards Rey who was stumbling through the jungle behind him. Rey could only nod head still spinning from all of the information being presented to her so quickly. They came to a stop in front of a roaring waterfall Rey nearly running into Luke. 

“You are a dyad, you and Ben” he grunted as she began to climb. Rey followed him 

“A dyad? What is that?” 

Luke ceased climbing perching on an outcropping of rocks that jutted out close enough to touch the roaring water. 

“A dyad, two that are one, without one the other can not be, you have lived many lives apart but now you’re finally together- or you were damn it.” 

He let out a frustrated sigh running his hands through his hair. Rey still struggled to understand a question finally making it past her lips 

“You said we are your charges? And that you weren’t able to get to us? What do you mean? You were here before? When Snoke took him?” 

Rey was struggling to keep her tears at bay remembering the mission. 

Luke looked down at her from his perch “Yes, the universe works ambiguously, there are others like you and Ben and they each have their own oracle who watches over them throughout all of their lives. When the time comes that you are to be reunited we assist in the ways that we can.” 

He paused reaching out and letting the water run over his outstretched hand.

“I was there the other day, I planned to speak to the two of you together but but she showed up and he went with Snoke willingly which is much more troubling than him being taken.” 

Rey grumbled “I told you, he didn’t go with him willingly.” 

She kicked some small rocks at her feet. 

“You can obviously hear my thoughts, see my memories, you should know and see that he has been manipulated, he’s your charge as you say, don’t you know he isn’t capable of those kinds of things?” 

Luke eyed Rey and frowned 

“Rey, I know you don’t want to hear this, and perhaps you are correct that he has been influenced by Snoke to some degree. Yet, the truth is that he made his choice, and I have seen him in previous lives be capable of many things, he has always been powerful, dangerously so.”

Luke slid down from the rocks and clasped Rey shoulders with his hands. 

“I have been waiting generations for you two to find each other. I was supposed to find you together but now I’ve gone and messed that up” she trailed off. Rey leaned against the rocks tousling her hair. 

“I still don’t understand you’ve been waiting generations?” 

“Yes, dyads are often apart until they are needed, sometimes you are right in front of each other’s faces and don’t remember each other. Tell me, do you feel a connection to Ben?” 

Rey stumbled back a little leaning against a large rock 

“I…yes, we, well I know that I have feelings for him, I kissed him once but he didn’t, he wasn’t interested…” 

Rey felt blush creeping up her neck. Luke smiled at her softly 

“You have shared dreams with him yes? Can tell how he’s feeling? sense him when he’s gone? You’re pulled to him even when you’re angry?” 

Rey let a smile spread across her lips 

“Well yes, but nothing different than how others feel towards their…significant others…except for the dreaming I suppose.” Luke smirked at her knowingly. 

“The deeper your connection grows and the stronger it becomes you’ll be able to see each other through time and space as if you are present with the other even when you aren’t. A dyad in the force can defy the physical realm if they so desire. 

Rey reached out and gripped Luke’s hand 

“You mean I can find him right now? See him? How, please tell me how?”

Luke dropped Rey’s hand and turned to face the thundering falls. 

“It isn’t that simple, Ben is shrouded in darkness I can feel it, Snoke has torn his mind apart, twisted his memories, he only sees the bad, and in fragments. Even if you could project he wouldn’t come to you willingly- not now” 

he let out a deep sigh. Walking back the direction that they came from Luke led the way as Rey followed. They came to a halt in the clearing once again, the silence of their journey allowing Rey time to process. Luke turned towards her offering a warm smile 

“You must go now Rey, back home.” 

Rey clenched her fist at her side 

“I can’t go home; I have to find Ben and I have more questions I can’t just leave” 

Luke came back into her space and gently touched her shoulder. The world around her shifted and Luke retreated into his cloaked garments 

“You don’t have a choice; I can not stay much longer but I will be back once I regain some strength. Go home Rey, you will not find Ben this way.” 

Rey felt the tears return to her eyes and let a few fall before rapidly blinking them away. Luke was beginning to fade into the light cast down over the clearing. 

“Wait, Luke wait! Just tell me, Is Ben okay? You said you can feel the darkness around him, Ben? Are you going to him?” 

Rey pleaded taking a step forward and reaching out. Luke’s voice came to her as her figure wisped away. 

“Go home Rey.”


	6. Chocolate Cookies

The air in the conference room was thick and constricted around Rey’s throat as her eyes darted around the room. She could feel her muscles trembling and urged herself to still them. Han was the first to speak 

“Rey, I understand your loyalty and commitment to finding Ben but losing you, Finn, and Rose right now is simply not possible. I love my son but he has made a choice and we must trust in that choice. He was always meant to go with Snoke, and I have taken what you and Finn have brought to my attention with a heavy heart and hope that it is not true. If Ben has truly turned his heart and has become aligned with The First Order and Snoke, then we are facing a far greater threat than before.” 

Rey rolled her shoulders trying to melt some tension before her voice betrayed her. 

“I’ll go myself then, Rose and Finn may remain behind and complete whatever tasks you have but I am going to find him. With the information I gained from the oracle Luke it is my responsibility.” 

Han cut her off 

“Your responsibility is to your people. I will not hear anymore of this from you. You are under the command of myself and the council as you have long since sworn your oath. You will obey my command and remain at the academy until you are tasked with a mission or you will be held as a prisoner on the charge of treason.” 

Rey let her mouth drop open before tightening her lips into a firm line. 

“Yes sir” she gritted out, forcing herself into her seat gripping at the table with her fingers. 

The room remained silent for several beats as no one dared to move or speak. Han was never so harsh with council members and no one expected him to be so with the girl who was practically his daughter, much less in response to her wanting to save his son. Poe cleared his throat and broke the veil that had shrouded the chamber. 

“To continue, we have been given intelligence that The First Order is continuing to supply the slavers in the Outer Rim allowing them to keep up their trade through our blockade. We will be deploying teams of four to infiltrate this cluster and liberate the horde of children that our scanners have picked up. They are in an abandoned school building being use for…unspeakable things… as well as being trained in combat. We will not let The First Order create an army of slave children that we will be forced to contend with.” 

Rey let the rest of the meeting fade out as she attempted to control her breathing and the prickling fire that danced over her skin. As soon as they were dismissed she stalked away from the room not caring where she ended up so long as it was as far away from the temple as she could get. 

The familiar cobble stone path felt different under her feet as she approached the home, her home, on the hill. The double front doors swung open and she was greeted with the smell of roast drifting through the foyer. 

“Han? Is that you?” Leia’s voice traveled through the air, Rey tensed at his name before shaking out her arms and pulling herself together. 

“No, it’s Rey” she called out wandering towards the sitting room. 

Leia was on the couch sunk into the cushions. Various documents were projected all around her, a forgotten cup of tea on the table, and Rey eyed one of Ben’s enormous sweaters covering her feet. Leia’s eyes were rimmed with a soft pink that Jessa was all to familiar with and she let out an exasperated sigh as she plopped down on the couch next to her. Leia tapped at her wristlet allowing the documents to evaporate before lifting her arm and offering her chest to Rey. She didn’t hesitate to bury herself into Leia’s soft robes letting out a sniffle. 

“I miss him too” Leia said, her voice sounding far away as she stroked Rey’s hair. 

“I take it the meeting didn’t go well?” she asked lifting Rey’s chin to face her. Rey rolled her eyes and let out a huff 

“Han will not allow me to go after Ben, not with Finn and Rose, or alone.” 

Leia gave a sympathetic smile 

“It is very dangerous with or without company, and unless things have changed you still have no idea where to look?” 

Rey nodded casting her eyes down

“I know; I just don’t understand why we can’t go after him. Why Han doesn't want to go after him he is your son; don’t you want him to come home?” 

A tear streaked down Leia’s cheek and landed on her head 

“You know that I do Rey, but Ben made a choice weather it was part of the plan or not, it was still his choice to make. I have to trust that things will be okay. That he will be okay. If I don’t have that hope, then I will lose myself in grief. I have a responsibility to the people to hold myself together and keep moving forward. Han has the same responsibilities, even more so with his duty to command the military. We are fighting a war which we can not lose, you know this.” 

Rey pushed herself up pulling the sweater out from the cushions where it had sunk. She held it close to her chest picking at a string on the sleeve. 

“Nobody would blame you if you didn’t keep it together you know?” 

Leia reached out and patted her knee 

“I know, but I have mourned in my own way and will continue to do so until I am reunited with him. I have you and Poe and Han to think of. I will be strong for all of you, that’s what mothers do.” 

Rey tightened her grip on the sweater. 

“I need to apologize to Han, I was out of line and let my emotions control me. He threatened to imprison me you know? In front of the whole council.” 

Leia let out a small giggle. 

“You know as well as I do that he’d never go through with that dear, has he ever held up any sort of punishment against you?” 

Rey smiled at that 

“Well…no” 

Leia stood and reached out for Rey’s hands 

“Exactly, I don’t think you’ve ever been grounded for more than a few hours in your whole life. Now, come on let's get to the kitchen we can make chocolate cookies, that ought to set him right.” 

The journal hidden in Rey’s pack didn’t contain any meaningful words or thoughts. The pages were simply full of marks, 182 to be exact. Each marking representing a day without a trace of Ben. She hadn’t given up but she had to push it to the back of her mind as much as she could. She was a commander now with her own squadron to look after. They were preparing for their fourth mission into the Outer Rim. 

She had successfully liberated a total of two hundred and ten slaves; women, men, and children returning them to the Citadel on Alderran where they were free. This one would be a bit more challenging than her previous endeavors. For this auction Callum her second in command could not just sell her to anyone. The target was a General for The First Order that oversaw the mines on Illium. She would have to win him over during the auction which meant dressing in hardly anything and turning up her charms. Thankfully, her skills had been improving since Rose had been teaching her. She would remain for approximately two weeks spreading the word through the mines. She would have to have some of them cover for her on the 14th day so that she could sneak away and pick up some weapons and explosives that Callum and her team would hide for her on the outskirts of the compound. She and those who were willing to join her in escape would ban together on the 16th day and rendezvous with her team at the drop zone out side of an old exit that wasn’t used anymore. 

She paced in the hangar rubbing her palms on her pants as her squad approached her. 

Callum greeted her first slinging an arm around her “You ready for this commander?” 

She returned his embrace a smile tugging at her lips “as I’ll ever be.” 

The rest of her squadron fell into line in front of her waiting for instructions. She faced them with her head held high 

“Everyone, you know that you are each a vital part of this mission. Without each of you carrying out your duties as they have been assigned the mission will fail. As you all know, I trust you with my life and you should all trust each other by now. This squadron was created to symbolize hope, and that is what we bring to the people. The Legion and the dark witch have continued to mobilize their forces and grow stronger each day. We will not allow them to continue to enslave our people. We will continue to fight where we are needed and we will drive them out of our lands. Our people have not lost hope in us and so we will not lose hope in our fight. Now is everyone ready?” 

A chorus of “Yes ma’am” rung in her ears and she nodded for the crew to head onto the ship "May the force be with us" 

Callum lagged behind everyone grabbing Rey’s elbow gently. 

“Hey, you sure you’re up for this? You haven’t taken a break in weeks.” 

Rey rolled her eyes “Of course, I just like to keep busy makes it easier to keep things off my mind.” 

She pulled away heading towards the ramp of the ship and he trotted after her. His hand found her lower back and she tensed under the touch. His breath came across her ear 

“You’re going to have to change you know.” She shifted away from him. He was previously Poe's second in command but he had lent him to Rey as 'added protection'. He was nice enough she supposed, although clearly interested in something more than what she would ever be willing to give. 

“To your post please Callum” she grumbled looking down at her baggy cargo pants and boots. 

She didn’t need to change for hours and the thought of the outfit tucked away in her bag made her grimace. She wasn’t as well endowed as some of the other females who would be present and she was conscious of her scars and small frame. 

She let out a breath before closing the hatch and making her way to the main cabin.


End file.
